


My Reason to Smile

by fallingjustanotherwaytofly



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Self-Reflection, open letter type of thing, victor's point of view
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9629654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingjustanotherwaytofly/pseuds/fallingjustanotherwaytofly
Summary: You've given me a thousand and one reasons to smile.





	

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul.

I disagree.

The smile is the window to the soul. 

A smile is worth a thousand and one words. 

Nothing can compare to the power a smile.

There are smiles of mine that I will always remember. My smile when I first step foot in a rink and fell in love with the ice, my smile when I won my first medal as a child, my smile when I looked into Makkachin's puppy eyes and knew we were meant to be best friends, my smile when I won my first gold medal at the Grand Prix Finals, and my smile when I won gold at the Olympics. 

Those were genuine smiles.

But I had spent over 20 years perfecting a smile that hid my loneliness, doubts, fears, and insecurities. 

I had sacrificed both love and life for skating. Skating has, is, and may always be my biggest purpose Earth. But gold can't fill a hole in your heart. Bouquets of flowers don't last long enough to ease your pain. Awards can't make an empty apartment feel like home. A dog, no matter how precious they are, can only provide so much companionship before their short lives are over.

Each year the gold medal felt heavier and heavier around my neck and with each flash of a camera my smile got weaker and weaker. 

Every year I get older I get closer to the reality that my life as a professional skater won't last much longer. My smile could never hide the fact that without skating, I felt like I was nothing, like I was no one. My legacy will always be because of my skating, not because of the person I am. That’s how i'll be remembered by the world because that’s all I was to the world. 

I’ve clung to that fake smile as if my life depended on it.

But you, oh God, you have turned my world upside down. I've spent my life searching for happiness and I've finally found it. I’ve finally found someone, something, more precious than gold. Whose beauty will last longer than a flower's, who makes me feel at home whether in an apartment or in another country, whose companionship will last a lifetime.

You, you who has shown me what love and life is about. Who has shown me that I am worth more than my weight in gold. That I was made for greater things beyond skating. Whose drunken smile saved me from those crushing thoughts.

You've given me a thousand and one reasons to smile.

My smile was once the window to an empty soul, now my smile is the window to the soul of a man in love, a man with a purpose, a man who feels complete.

Now the only gold that matters to me is wrapped around our fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> Short, disgustingly sweet, and to the point.


End file.
